gijasue's blog

We finally made it to ballet class. This is something that A. has wanted for a long time. Yes, she’s a tomboy but she still loves to be a girl.

It actually took longer to get her to the class then I imagined.

The class started last week. And we went. Unfortunately, it was one of those, “if anything bad could happen, it did” kind of times.

To begin with, I had no idea where this class was supposed to be held. I had asked the woman who set this up to let me follow her. Sounds easy, right?

Well, we weren’t the only ones following her and it ended up that I had to go around the block twice to find a parking spot. By the time I found one, far enough away for A. to get cold walking back, they were long gone and I had no idea where this class was supposed to be held.

I picked A. up to keep her warm (since she was fussing about being cold), and, muttering under my breath, started looking around for any building that looked like it might have a ballet class held in it. As I was walking across the road, I slipped on an icy patch and A. went down in front of me and hit the icy sidewalk with her head.

Needless to say, I was freaked out, especially since she began to cry very loudly (something she rarely does and only when she’s hurt pretty bad). I didn’t see any blood or feel any big lumps. We went back to the car then and I called my husband who found an e-mail with the address in it. So, although A. said she wanted to go home, I dragged her to the house just to see if she would be interested once she got there.

That was a no go. She wanted nothing to do with it and kept trying to go to sleep, which worried me because I thought she might have a concussion. So we went home.

Luckily, we didn’t need to take her to the hospital and later I found a bruise on her back, near her hip that may have been where she hit before she hit her head.

Anyway, back to today.

She was finally ready to go back and give it a try. We got there in time and everything was fine as she played with some of the girls before the class started. Until she fell on her chin. Being the “beautiful and graceful ballerina” that she already is, she was spinning on the floor and fell smack on her face.

She cried pretty hard then, and I thought it would be a repeat of last week. But she surprised me. After a few minutes, she got up off of my lap and went back to playing until the class started. I was pretty happy.

I left then, a request from the teacher, and she was still fine when I came back.

It wasn’t until we were eating supper that J. noticed a bruise under her chin and when she lifted it, you could see that she had a good size bruise with a quarter inch cut in the middle.

All I can say is that I’m happy I didn’t see the cut before, because I would have been more worried about her and babied her more than I did. I’m just so happy that she’s a trooper and I know now that she wasn’t crying over nothing when she fell.

I’m also happy that she likes this. She’s begged out of the skiing classes they have here and not wanted to do other activities with the other kids, so I’m happy she found one she likes and it can nurish the little girl in her instead of making her more of a tomboy. She already has enough of that in her.

This weekend didn’t quite turn out as expected. I had planned on driving to Heidelberg on Friday to meet J. there, do some shopping, eat some wonderful Korean food, and head back home. Apparently A. had ideas, other than mine, as to what was going to happen.

Friday started out as any other day, except we had a little more time on our hands since I wasn’t planning on leaving until 11 that morning. A. had breakfast and was killing time watching a movie on TV. She seemed to be doing fine as I stepped into the shower. When I stepped out of the shower, it was a different story.

I house was quiet (the movie had ended before I got into the shower) and I didn’t see her as I looked around but I figured she was involved with things, so I went to dry my hair.

When I came back out to get her to brush her teeth, I found her lying on the floor in the living room, saying that she didn’t want to move. From then on, things went quickly from bad to worse.

At the time, when I asked her to come to the bathroom, I just thought she was being lazy, but a few minutes later when she wanted to lay on the floor so I could put her pants on, I knew something was up. By the time I had come back upstairs from taking the trash out, she had fallen asleep on the bathroom rug, and I knew the trip was off.

Before putting her into bed, I took her temperature. It was 102.5. Now, I was pretty worried.

She’s been sick before, but it’s been a long time since she had a real fever.

The rest of the day was spent with her laying either on her bed or the couch, refusing to eat or drink almost everything. I finally managed to get her to choke down a cheese stick but even her favorite, bread and butter, was left to harden on a paper towel.

As we got ready for bed that night, she had a coughing fit that turned into a puking fit. It was not the last for the night.

At least she didn’t throw up again until J. came home at 11 that night, but once she got started, she had to get up every two hours (or less) to puke or dry heave some more.

Around midnight, I decided to sleep with her for the rest of the night. Neither of us got much sleep. I think A. was in one of those fever induced sleepless states. Her breath was fast and her body was still but she answered me when I whispered and was upset when I occationally left go of her hand.

Today, she woke up and seemed to be better, but within the hour, her fever had gone up again and she lay motionless on the couch. Sometimes she slept, other times just watched the TV.

Most of the time I reach for the pain reliever/fever reducer as soon as A. feels warm and acts sick, but I had waited this time. I had hoped that the fever would burn the virus out and it would go away soon, but by noon it had been more than 24 hours since she the fever had started and it seemed to be getting worse. I gave her Tylenol and, as usual, she was back to normal for a few hours, she even ate some stuff. By dinner the fever was back again, but she got some more Tylenol and felt better. She’s been fine since she went to bed.

Although I mildly regret missing my shopping trip and having a chance to get out, I’m glad that I was able to stay home and relax and take care of A. when she needed it. I still love being a mom when the occasion calls for me to go all out.

Here I am, four days into the Healthy Lifestyle Challenge and I feel I’m doing pretty good. I’ve exercised every day this week (Monday thru today) and I’ve even tried to be well rounded in my workouts. Monday and Wednesday, I did intervals on the elliptical machine and Tuesday and today, I did a workout with weights. I even stretched three of the four days. I will probably be able to get all of the bonus points for this week, which is nice.

I still have to say that I’m not expecting to win or even be in the competition for the win. Which means that the competition is no motivation for me. But I’m hoping that just knowing that all I have to do is 30 minutes each day, will keep me going. Ever since the marathon, I haven’t had much motivation to do any exercise. It’s only been lately when I gained weight and constantly feel the rolls on my back (yes, it’s an ugly thing), that I’ve been motivated to do more. I know that it’s different things that get different people to exercise, for me it’s some kind of goal or upfront motivation. Although I usually don’t exercise just to make myself healthier, I do have points where I feel as though I just can’t stand myself any more. This is one of those times. I just hope that when I lose a few pounds and the rolls on my back, I don’t lose my motivation, too. I’m hoping that once I get into the routine of doing 30 minutes, I can push it to more when I’ve got my work schedule figured out better. I guess the best I can do is work at it and wait and see.

Today, Joe sent me this article about finding a job that you love. It gave me a lot to think about.

You see, recently I read this blog, and in it she talks about feeling (or not feeling, as was the case) “grown up,” having a “proper” job and “adult” concerns. At the time I read it, I felt I could understand her concerns, since I’ve felt that way before. Sometimes, when I look back at my life, it seems as if I’ve been swept along, going with whatever job seem to come by at the time. Although, when I remember those times clearly, the jobs seemed to be the right thing at the right time and were not taken lightly by me at the time.

But I still wonder, at times, if I shouldn’t be considered an adult, because I’m not sure if I’ve met some kind of nebulous requirement needed to be one. I’m not all knowing, as I, as a child, thought I would be, or some kind of hard working person who makes a huge difference to society. I still feel like … me.

So that brings me back to the first article about doing a job that you love. In this “essay” the author talks about not always knowing what you love to do, even after you’ve gone through your college, university or graduate school. And, I have to admit, I was one of those people. I had an idea of what I liked to do, and I knew what I wanted to do this second, as the author puts it. But those things really didn’t translate into a job right away.

It wasn’t until I heard about the photojournalist job in the Army that I had an idea that my like and my this second could be combined into a job that I definitely liked better than what I was doing at the time.

And so I went a step farther into finding out how to do the job that I loved.

But, there were things that I didn’t love, as many jobs have, and there came a point where the one outweighed the other and I quit. And moved on.

After a few more jobs that were nice, but not quite right, I moved into a position that I both loved and hated (sometimes at the same time). That was the Mom position.

Anyone of you that is a mother (or even a parent) can relate to that. So, while I did this job, life went on. But it was harder in some ways than a “proper” job. I missed the social interaction that was so integral to the other jobs that I had worked at. And still, I felt as though I wasn’t yet “grown up.” It seemed to me that I was adrift in life, with no other purpose than to help this child grow up. Not that it’s not a big responsibility, but she was ready to spread her wings, and so was I.

Then chance came along and offered me the job I have now. You could say it was just another one of those things that I was swept along into, but with this one, I felt that it was tailor made for me. It had the hours I wanted (not too much, not too little), the flexiblility that I needed, and the pay that was too nice to say “no” to.

And suddenly, here I was, back in the Army job I liked without the things I didn’t like. And, to my surprise, I was being treated like a “grown up.” I began to feel like one to.

As I read this article (and as I’m getting more involved in my job and getting a real feel for it), I realized that this could be how I got the chance to do what I love. Maybe all of this drifting had a larger purpose and gave me a chance to see what was available out there.

I’m also realizing that I’m feeling more comfortable in my “grown up” skin. It’s not that I won’t ever revert back to that unsure young person I felt I was, but, I think I’m becoming happier with what I am now, and what I’m doing now. And I feel that’s one of the most important things in life.

Well, I decided to try this Healthy Lifestyle Challenge again. I tried it last year but never got into it, not really my type of competition since I don’t really think I have any chance of winning.

But this year I thought I’d do it just to get myself going. I’ve put on weight since the marathon and over the holidays. I feel so fat around the rib cage and I really can’t stand it.

So, today I did 30 minutes of interval training on the elliptical and about ten minutes of stretching. The idea is to do 30 minutes a day (30 minutes is considered a workout) but you get more points if you do 3 aerobic workouts, 2 workouts with weights and 3 x 15 minutes of stretching.

Since I’m so busy this year, with my new job, this might be the motivation I need, just to do 30 minutes, five days a week. This is what I’m hoping and with luck, it just might work.

After I posted my entry last night, I checked my e-mail from work. Earlier in the day, I had written an e-mail to the newspaper editor in Stuttgart telling her what stories I had for her and when I would be able to send them. Up until now, I figured this was a curtesy thing, since I had been told a few months ago that all the stories and ideas were to go through my boss (who really isn’t a writer or editor but has some idea how these things work). My boss knew about and we had discussed more than a few times, the stories I was doing for the coming edition, so I had figured she had talked to the guys in Stuttgart about it.

So it was with great surprise that I read a reply e-mail that said they would only be putting one story of mine in the newspaper since that was the one that went with their issue-wide theme.

I only have one thing to ask: Why didn’t they tell me this before?!!!

I have no problem with theme issues or giving them the Garmisch point of view in a story. But I was going out of my head trying to get the interviews I needed to have the story done by Monday or Tuesday and now I feel like a fool since I told all sorts of people that I needed to have it done by deadline which is now null and void. I don’t want people thinking that when I tell them I have a deadline, I can just stretch it out when I want to. This is the problem I was having with the bulletin since people were still sending me stuff on Thursday when it should have been already sent out.

I’m just frustrated, to say the least. I know that getting into the swing of things at any job is hard, but when the office is so new that no one knows how to do things or what your job really is, it’s just a bit difficult to adjust. And to think that I thought a 25hr a week job would be a piece of cake (of course, this week is turning out to be about 35hrs).

So, like I said in the title, I should have a good deal of free time next week. In fact, if I can do a few timeless stories, I should be able to keep ahead of the newspaper’s story requirements. And I should be able to work out or go skiing at least a few times next week.

But, I won’t be holding my breath. There’ll probably still be lots of comments and complaints flying around about the bulletin/newsletter and I’ll have to figure out how to placate the people that my boss can’t say “no” to. Oh well … life goes on.
…………………………………….

So, here’s A. with her “Talking Dolly and computer” that she was going to get for Christmas. They arrived in the mail on Thursday. So Thursday was Talking Dolly day, and since Talking Dolly day was supposed to be Christmas Day, Thursday was Christmas.

I actually have to say that A. has been incredibly patient about the whole thing. She knew that she was supposed to get the dolly for Christmas and when it didn’t come by Saturday we told her that it might becoming late. She was a little sad but she didn’t cry or throw a fit, she just waited. And I’m very proud of her for that.

She actually didn’t know she was getting the Leap Pad game but my husband had told her (unbeknownst to me) that she would be getting a computer. So she also expected a computer, also. When I found this out, I told her that the game was the computer and she was OK with that, too.

Personally, I think that she’s too young to have her own computer, but at the time, my husband had thought we would be getting a new computer for Christmas and she could have the old one (when she found out it was an old one, she was having none of that anyway, she wanted a new computer).

And it all worked out in the end because she has her new “computer,” which satisfies me because it’s a learning game computer, and she didn’t have a fit because she didn’t get it for Christmas. It’s all good.

I know I (again) haven’t written in a while. Sometimes I wonder at myself. But this week I wasn’t wondering, I know what kept me from writing … work!

This is the way it works, you get a new job, and, of course, you’ve got to get used to it. But, once you’re used to it, then they stick it to you. How I got stuck was they told me I had to take over the community bulletin and change it. Of course, let the new guy get hated.

So, I worked and slaved and tried to make it look nicer than I really had to. But, as it always does, it wasn’t good enough to satisfy the masses. Actually, to tell the truth, the masses are the small elite group of people who send me the information to be put in the bulletin. They, of course, want everything to be the same. They probably wouldn’t be satisfied if I wrote it ten feet high in gold letters (well, maybe some of them would be satified with this).

Anyway, in the end I slaved over a product that is nicer then they need but more unappreciated than if I did the easy thing. But, that’s the way it always is, right?

That’s what I’ve been doing with my time. Hopefully, I’ll have more time in the coming weeks.

So, I haven’t forgotten about you all. I’ve just been busy. Last week was the first week since I’ve started my job (officially on Dec. 20, but I did a few stories before then) that I actually had an office to go to. Just getting that all set up was a chore.

Since I work for the military, there’s lots of password and security stuff that goes on and into the computer, and I can’t do any of it myself. So, I have to call or e-mail this incredibly busy guy to install something or get me some password and it’s just insane how long it takes to get this stuff done.

And it’s so amazing that a 25hr/week job makes me so tired and keeps me going all day. Well, I have to say that it’s not all the job. I’m still not much of a morning person, so getting out of the house is something I have to be disciplined about. And, I have to get the girl out of the house, too. Now, that’s a trick.

It seems that she’s taken to playing a lot more these days. She continually makes toys out of paper (she draws, I cut) and plays with them all the time. Not any old toys either. When I was working out with my weights, she wanted a pair of barbells. Most of the time, she makes animals (snakes, frogs, etc.) and makes them part of the family of similar stuffed animals. It’s really quite amusing.

Then we have my workout stuff that I like to do in the morning, so when I finally get to work and try to do a five hour day, it pretty much takes the rest of the work day. I have started to work out in the afternoon, just to save the showering time in the gym. We’ll see if that works out.

Of course, another reason work is so tiring is just the usual new boss, new job kind of stuff. Just getting to know how my boss works — which is turning out to be quite a trick — and what is expected of me in my new job — new bulletin style that everyone hates — is something of a chore in and of itself.

But I have to say that I like my new job, I’m getting the hang of it (which doesn’t at all mean smooth sailing) and I think I can discipline myself to work out a good schedule. At least, that’s what I’m planning.

Ok, so it’s the 2nd today. We stayed up pretty late on New Year’s Eve (until 3 a.m. watching movies) so I took the day off yesterday to recover. But we had a great time on New Year’s Eve. We invited some friends over for movies, food and fun. As J. said in his blog here the friends have a four-year-old, too, so we let the kids play or watch their movies in our bedroom, while we watched the adult movies in the living room. And, of course, we went out on the balcony to check out the music, people, fireworks, etc.

Actually, the fireworks we pretty amazing considering most (or all) of them were private fireworks and not set off by the city. People were setting them off as early as 9 p.m. and they just kept coming more and more often. There were three main areas that were set up for fireworks. Someone (and maybe it was the city who did this) had set up firework holders in three or four different spots so that everyone could use them for their own fireworks and everyone also knew to stay away from those spots.

And, of course, the crowds and the firworks escalated exponentially in the last 20 minutes before midnight. People packed in along the walls of the buildings surrounding the square where our house is and the fireworks ran continually for about 45 minutes. It was a pretty great show. I have to say that I love where we live. I know that we wouldn’t see half the thing we do, if we didn’t live here. It would just be too inconvienient to come here to see it otherwise.

Well, I hope that your new year was as fun as ours was. It’s been nice having two days off of work after New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow, we’ll both have to go back to work. It’s kind of weird for me to think about going back to work, after not working for more than four years, but since I’m only working 25 hours a week, I think I’ll get used to it pretty easily.

I hope your new year is as good as or better than the last.